When talking about feedback we usually tend to look at the side of a person who gives feedback. How information is passed to feedback-getter? How boss acts during conversation? Anyway, I wrote about that lately and I pointed others who did that too. However, thing which is forgotten very often is that not only the way feedback is given counts. The way feedback is received is as much important. Give your perfect feedback to a wall and you’ll see what I mean.
Many people have problems with receiving feedback, especially not a positive one. Sure, everyone likes to hear how good/important/fantastic/indispensable/whatever he is. That’s not very constructive though. I find “negative” feedback much more constructive (I used apostrophes with purpose). It shows you what you should change to improve your performance, while saying that you’re good keeps you in the place. That’s why you should especially look for critical advices.
OK, you know what you want from feedback you get. Now, prepare yourself. If you hear some critic – don’t fight, discuss. Remember your goal isn’t convincing your adversary to your reason, but receiving as much information as you can. If you’ve already heard what you’d done wrong, ask how you can improve your actions in the future. It’s so easy to fall into fruitless discussion defending your positions, but that doesn’t make any sense here. Your attitude to critic should be positive. No one tries to fire you. At least in most cases.
If you’re ready for any feedback you can get, ask for honesty. Remember, on the other side you won’t always have a partner very well prepared. She can be afraid to say the truth, especially if it isn’t something nice to hear. She can beat about the bush trying to soften the message. That’s nothing you want, remember? You just want to know where you can be better, so you really need to know what you’ve screwed up. Let your partner know what your intention is.
Last advice: talk. Don’t sit in the silence. Describe your point of view, yet remember you’re not here to defend yourself but to exchange information. Think about issues that forced you to fail in some situations. Maybe you aren’t perfectly prepared for meetings because you have too many tasks on you? Show bigger picture to the other side. Don’t assume she knows everything. It’s said that good evaluation meeting is the one when both persons talk about the same amount of time. The same is with giving/getting feedback.
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