Calm Down
You’ve read an e-mail. Someone has really pissed you off this time. And I mean really. You start hitting you keyboard with all the anger you have inside, typing the “fuck off” type of answer adding all hidden and unhidden grudges you held against your adversary.
Stop! Calm down! Now!
Leaving the thing as it is – unanswered – gives you nothing. But that’s perfectly OK, because entering the discussion on that level can only harm you. You can earn a couple of new enemies, you can say a bit too much and you can deepen your frustration. It’s a bit like with Dilbert and Pointy-Haired Boss. Every time Dilbert stars the discussion it ends up with Boss hating him more and Dilbert exploring new levels of his frustration.
Yes, it’s so hard to ignore attacks on you, and these are attacks indeed, but most likely you’d be trying to talk to deaf people anyway. You could scream your lungs off and you’d see virtually no effect.
I know that it’s really hard to follow this advice. I know it, because personally I failed here way too many times.
2 comments:
Pawel - what about a "keep it strictly business" response? I have had a couple of colleagues who had a habit of sending me abrupt, aggressive emails, usually with several senior managers on the CC list.
While a rigorously professional response may have made the sender angry, it made me look good to all the managers - and more often than not I ultimately got what I wanted out of the situation.
Agree on that one. Yet still it's hard to control emotions, no matter if your goal is to answer professionally (as you advice) or not answer at all.
My experience with "keep it business" responses is that sometimes it brings another load of undeserved attacks on you. It depends on emotions of the adversary too. Even when you decide to answer giving some time for both sides is usually a good idea.
Post a Comment